Dad Brief: Bernie Lumen

By: Brandon Troxell

Bernie Lumen is a hardworking fire-person, a loving husband to his wife, Cinder, and a caring father to his daughter, Ember. After losing their home in Fire Land, Bernie and, then pregnant Cinder, leave for Element City without the blessing from his father to start a new life and provide for his wife and unborn Ember.

Despite the couple facing discrimination and prejudice from other Elements in a new land far and away from everything they know and love, Bernie focused on supporting his family and community, built a business he is proud of, and held high and true to the traditions of Fire Land.

Times change, though, and storms happen, as Bernie well knows. When Ember falls in love with Wade, a water element, and decides to go her own way, a choice arises for the Fire Dad: Do I give Ember my blessing to fulfill herself? Or do I do what my father did and not reciprocate the gesture? Despite tradition, he breaks the cycle.

I think we can all point to habits and punishments, small or large, that our parents inflicted on us when we were kids. We said we would never treat our own that way. We wouldn’t yell like they did. We wouldn’t revert to spanking or other punishments. Yet here we are. By no fault of our own, we fall into those patterns—the routines we learned when we were younger, because it’s simply what we know.

“It’s how we were raised,” we say to ourselves, justifying our actions. Or we overcompensate in other areas where our parents lacked. We can’t regulate our emotions when certain behaviors manifest—ones we struggled with when we were their age. It’s likely that your own parents struggled here, too.

Here’s the good news: like Bernie, you can break the cycle. It’s never too late, but it won’t be easy. You’re going to mess up—fall back into patterns you thought you’d broken, but that is kind of the point. “Luctor et emergo”, I struggle and emerge.

Cheers!

Brandon